CCS Pronoun Guide
WHAT ARE PRONOUNS?
Pronouns are words that are used in place of names in past, present, and possessive tense. Pronouns can be existing words like she/her and he/him and they/them.
Pronouns can also be new or neo-pronouns which are constantly evolving like xe/xir/xirs. Most importantly though, pronouns are a person’s choice and that’s what matters!
WHY ARE PRONOUNS IMPORTANT?
Pronouns allow all people to self-identify their gender through language. In the transgender community pronouns along with changes to birth-names provide gender affirmation in everyday conversations.
Have you ever tried to call someone by only their name all day? It would sound a bit like this…
“Alex wants to paint but Alex ran out of canvas so Alex has to buy one at the store using Alex’s flexdollars.”
PHEW! That is a lot of Alex’s! This is where pronouns come in! Some pronouns reflect binary genders like he/him or she/her and some pronouns reflect non-binary genders like they/them or xi/xir. Coupled with a person’s chosen name, pronouns allow Transgender people to live as their true and authentic self.
HOW DO I SHARE MY PRONOUN?
A person can share their pronouns nonverbally through buttons or stickers stating their pronouns, start a conversation by introducing yourself with your name and pronoun, or have a friend or ally begin a new conversation sharing their pronouns. The possibilities are endless!
More on sharing...
Speaking of people, transgender people aren’t the only ones that should share their pronouns. A great way to be an ally to the transgender community is to offer your pronouns first to alleviate any anxiety a person who uses gender-neutral and neo-pronouns may have when sharing their identity through language.
There are many ways to share your pronouns:
- You can use a button or pin that indicates your pronoun so you can communicate your identity nonverbally.
- You can begin a conversation with a new person by introducing yourself with your pronouns like; “What up doe! My name is Darrius and my pronouns are he/they”
- If you’re facilitating a conversation, class, or group discussion you can have everyone introduce themselves with their accompanying pronouns.
The moral of the story is everyone has pronouns so it is up to all — Transgender and Cisgender people alike — to share them!
HOW DO I ASK SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR PRONOUN?
Try asking: “What pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me what pronouns you use?” It can feel awkward at first, but it is not half as awkward as making a hurtful assumption. It’s important to remember that pronouns aren’t always associated with the way someone expresses their gender through their appearance. When in doubt, ask about!
More on Asking...
Asking someone’s pronoun can sometimes be a bit nerve racking. You don’t want to assume either way, and sometimes you may not feel comfortable asking someone new about their pronouns. Try…
- Introducing yourself with your pronouns! If you start, it will make the other person feel comfortable to share their pronouns. This takes the burden off of the other person to need to explain every time they walk in the room.
- Asking them! “What are your pronouns?” or “Which pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me of your pronouns?” are all great ways to ask. Even though it may feel awkward, asking is alway better than making a wrong assumption.
WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE?
It is ok! Everyone makes mistakes sometimes when using pronouns, even trans people. The most important thing to do is to quickly apologize and move on. Using new pronouns can be hard but practice makes perfect!
About making mistakes...
It’s important to remember that apologizing profusely or asking the person how they feel about your mistake puts the burden on the trans person to take care of you and your feelings. If someone you know comes to you with new pronouns, try practicing them with a mutual friend to get used to them. By doing this you’ll be much more likely to get the pronouns right the next time!
WHAT ARE NEO-PRONOUNS AND HOW DO I USE THEM?
Neo-pronouns are pronouns that include those pronouns besides the ones most commonly used in a particular language. Pronouns are a reflection of someone’s identity and the number and types of neo-pronouns a person can use are limitless. Neopronouns are used in the same way other pronouns are used. For example, the pronoun xe/xem/xyrs parallels she/her/hers in each tense..
More about Neo-Pronouns...
Here’s how to use different neo and non-binary pronouns in a sentence.
- Amanda – (she/her/hers) – I saw her yesterday and asked if she lost a paintbrush, it turns out it wasn’t hers.
- Oliver (they/them/theirs) – I saw them yesterday and asked if they lost a paintbrush, it turns out it wasn’t theirs.
- Echo – (xe/xem/xyrs) – I saw xem yesterday and asked if xe lost a paintbrush, it turns out it wasn’t xyrs.
- Clove (ze/zir/zirs) – I saw zir yesterday and asked if ze lost a paintbrush, it turns out it wasn’t zirs.
- Demitri (fae/faer/faers) – I saw faer yesterday and asked if fae lost a paintbrush, it turns out it wasn’t faers.
Here are a few more examples of neo-pronouns.
| Subjective | Objective | Possessive | Reflective |
| she | her | hers | herself |
| he | him | his | himself |
| they | them | their | themself |
| fae | faer | faers | faerself |
| vae | vaer | vaers | vaerself |
| ae | aer | aers | aerself |
| ne | nym | nis | nymself |
| ne | nem | nir | nemself |
| xe | xem | xyr | xemself |
| xe | xim | xis | ximself |
| xie | xem | xyr | xemself |
| zhe | zher | zirs | zirself |
| ze | hir | hirs | hirself |
| sie | sier | siers | sierself |
| zed | zed | zeds | zedself |
| it | it | its | itself |
HOW CAN I LEARN MORE?
- [Advice 1 — ex: Join [ORG NAME] to learn more about the community.]
- [Advice 2]
- [Ex/Internal Resource/Guide/Vid 1]
- [Ex/Internal Resource/Guide/Vid 2]
- [Ex/Internal Resource/Guide/Vid 3]
